A blog following the Mission work of Hope Chapel in Apex, NC
Sunday, January 10, 2010
It's 6pm Sunday evening. I'm sitting on the back patio at Lorraine's house. It is 73° and breezy. I can hear faint Latin rhythms from a neighbor, thumping over the windchimes - that and occasional loud bangs that I'm convincing myself are fireworks.
Today we visited an Hispanic iglesia and took some teen orphan boys out for ice cream. On the way to iglesia this morning, our driver confused our destination; we were 20 minutes late for service. Worship had started already and I still had never met or played with the worship leader. My El Salvador worship leading debut was not looking good....
Almost two hours later I was still sitting in my seat in the back of the church, realizing I probably wouldn't get to lead the Spanish worship songs I'd learned for my trip. I got pretty discouraged. The El Salvador government is already restricting my medical priveleges. Now it looked as though I wouldn't be leading worship either. I felt myself ask, "So why am I even here?"
Then in the middle of church, a clear Voice answered my question with bigger questions: "Who are you here for? And who is this all about anyway?"
Zing! So busted. So convicted. I promised God at that moment that this was about serving Him the ways HE wants me to, not the ways I'd been picturing it in my head.
In the end, God did give me the chance to lead worship with this group of fervent believers - and it was a fun, un-rehearsed mess of Spanglish celebration & praise. I also had a blast later, leading worship outside in the park with the boys from the orphanage.
But I served from a new place. On His terms, not mine. His scene, not my mental picture.